Look For Me In The Crowd

A/N - You guys have been awesome with this. Love u xxx

Chapter Seven

Chapter Eight

A couple of days passed since you had seen Luke, Ash and Mikey, but you had seen Cal a few times. You were unsure of what you two were, you were trying to keep it as friends but Cal wanted more.

You were going to a party with them tonight, so now you had the chance to talk to Mikey on his own, making sure the boys weren’t near so they couldn’t influence his answers. You were fed up with the changing story, you wanted answers now.

The boys picked you up, but Luke wasn’t there. “Where’s Luke?” You asked.

"Went to get his girlfriend." Ash answered, not thinking much of what he was saying. Girlfriend. You actually hated that word, it was weird to you. And you hated that it sounded like property. And it was because it involved Luke. You couldn’t deny it, you didn’t like that he’d moved on, and slowly you were destroying yourself in wondering what had changed. You were becoming more and more agitated, asking more questions. And if you and Luke were friends again he should tell you the answers if he didn’t care for you the same way.

You arrived at the party, and like most, it was packed. The boys soon left you and you were awkwardly in the corner, waiting for someone to come relieve you of your pain of just standing there watching everyone let loose and let go of stress when you were becoming more stressed by the second.

A hand touched on you shoulder, and you turned around to see a familiar smile. “Hey stranger.” You said, giggling at Luke.

"Hey. How you been?" He asked.

"No small talk Luke, you know I hate that." And you did. It made things more awkward.

"Okay, but I haven’t seen you in a while. So really, how have you been?" He laughed.

"Good. What about you?" You answered.

"Good, spent a lot of time with Miranda. We need to do something soon though." He said smiling, but he looked like he was forcing it.

"Look, you don’t have to force yourself to be friends with me. I really don’t mind." You said. He looked weirdly at you, wondering why you would say that.

"I want to be friends with you. We’ll see each other soon okay?" He said,  then rushed off to talk to someone else.

-

Like Luke had said, you would see each other soon. The next day infact. You were going to a park that you used to go to often, and it reminded you of when you had your brief fling. This was where you took the boat ride, the river in the park was long and on a sunny day like now, it shined as the light reflected off it.

You decided to get a boat, the pedalo, and go out on the river.

"You look nice." Luke said, looking over at you.

"You too I guess." You giggled, becoming shy because you still didn’t know how to react to a compliment.

"Still not used to that? I like it though because it’s cute." He laughed. You looked over at him and it was a picture you wouldn’t forget. He looked so happy, one of the happiest times you’ve seen him. His eyes were bluer than the river, his smile was brighter than the light reflecting off the water. He looked so relaxed but so upbeat. He had his cap on, and he was fiddling around with his lip ring as you realised you had been staring at him.

"I don’t think I’d ever get used to it." You replied, looking back infront of you.

"So, how was the date with Cal?’ He asked, uncomfortable about it.

"It was okay. What about you and Miranda?" You replied.

"It’s okay. I don’t know. She was kind of a side thing. To get someone off my mind."

"Who?"

"You."

"Oh."

"Yeah." Was this really happening? Was he really doing this right now?

"Well what’s gonna happen?" You asked.

"Break up probably, I guess I thought I could like her but I can’t." He replied.

"Oh right. Sorry."

"What about you and Cal?"

"What about me and Cal?"

"What’s happening?"

"I don’t think it would work. I don’t like him that way."

"Oh okay. Sorry."

"Yeah. Well i feel like some coffee."

-

You went to a cafe, and much to your approval, Luke had asked for sugar with his coffee. You sat and talked, things feeling like they used to. You laughed about old times, and talked about the tour. He told you stories about it and it sounded like he was reading from book. You listed to every word he said, waiting for the next. He spoke like rain, slowly and calmly, making you hypnotised the more you watch. He told you stories that made you laugh, and stories that were important to him, and you could see that it meant a lot. And you told stories too, talking about school and things you got up to. You noticed how much things had changed, he was now a major artist that many people knew, whilst you were only just finishing school. Your stories were different, his about his wild adventures, yours about talking about wild adventures. But although this was different, you still flowed together. You were drawn to him like before, and watched him carefully. You could still feel when he was watching you, which made your heartbeat fast. He would look at you the same way as he did when you were together, the look of admiration and desire. And you still loved him.

And as you laid awake, not crying yourself to sleep, you wondered what was going to happen with you two. You felt the connection again, he was finally letting you back in. And you kept thinking about him. Wondering about what happened and sorting it out and finally being together and your heart felt like it was going to burst of happiness. And a tear slid down your cheek and you laughed wiping it away.

Because now you wondered if he was going to love you and hold you so tight and wipe away your tears, like he did before.

izzyxxbae

It sucks when someone you have feelings for doesn’t share those feelings; it happens to women all the time, too. We hear “I just want to be friends” and “you’re like one of the guys” and “you’re like a sister to me” just as often. But you’ll never hear a woman complain that guys just don’t appreciate a Nice Girl because we’re taught it’s our own fucking fault when we’re rejected—we aren’t pretty enough or thin enough or sexy enough, we weren’t sexual enough or were too sexual, we put out too much or too little or too soon or not soon enough, we didn’t wear our hair the right way or our skirt the right length, we’re “too tomboyish” or “too butch” or “too feminine”, or we’re “not their type”, or we’re otherwise not good enough in various ways to entice the man to grace us with his affection.

But when we’re not interested in someone, we’re vilified. We’re the bitch that lead them on, the bitch who let them buy us dinner but didn’t want to date them, the bitch who doesn’t appreciate a nice guy, the bitch they were nice to and then got nothing in return from.

And, frankly, fuck those people. Showing interest in me, being friendly with me, getting close to me, or eating a meal with me (even if they paid for it) doesn’t obligate me to open my heart or my legs. And anyone who doesn’t appreciate my friendship sure as hell doesn’t deserve my love

(via jesshambys)

READ IT. READ IT ALL.

(via weliveinarapeculturesociety)

Look For Me In The Crowd

A/N - Guys talk to me I’m friendly just message me idm what its about if you just wanna talk or you wanna say what you thinks gonna happen in this fanfic idm anything! Love u xxx

Chapter Six

Chapter Seven

You and Luke were equally as surprised. It had come out of nowhere. You honestly didn’t expect Cal to ask you out, maybe he was doing it infront of Luke so you could see the reaction. You looked at Luke, who was just staring at Calum. You could tell he was shocked, but you couldn’t tell if he was angry or not. You looked back at Calum, who was still smiling at you, even though Luke was staring at him.

"Um.. I guess.." You said, feeling awkward. Luke broke his stare at Calum and was now looking at you.

"What?" Luke said, surprised you had actually agreed. What did that mean, that you can’t try get over him? It was like he didn’t want to be with you, but he didn’t want you to get over him. He liked having you there, waiting for him. But now you had enough.

"Were friends. Cal asked me out. I said yes. Now I need to go." You said smiling. The look on Luke’s face kind of made you happy, he was seriously in shock because of this. You got up to leave, saying to Calum, "Let me know what’s happening." Then you left.

-

Calum was taking you out tonight. You felt kinda bad, realising you were going on a date with the guy you were basically dating’s friend. And that you were friend’s anyway. You soon decided maybe it was a bad idea, but before you could call it off he was already there to pick you up.

You arrived at a restaurant and were seated. You were clearly worrying about this, you really didn’t want to be here right now and felt awful. It wasn’t that you were using Cal, it was that you were on a date thinking about someone else. You really wanted to get over Luke, but maybe this wasn’t the best way, and when Cal sat down opposite he immediately noticed you were uncomfortable. “Hey, relax.” He said.

Deciding to be straight up about it, you said, “Cal, this probably isn’t the best idea. Were friends, do you really want to interfere with that?”

"Okay, I’ve been thinking. If it doesn’t work out, then we’ll be friends. We’ll take it slow. It’s just a tiny crush on an incredible girl." He said smiling. "We’ll see how it goes okay?"

"Okay." You said, still not agreeing with the decision.

-

The night in the end, wasn’t bad. It was actually quite good. It was like normal, but just a bit more pressure and a lot more flirting, and you thought that you could easily fall for him. He was sweet, fun, nice. It would be easy to be with him, and soon enough you would forget about Luke. But the problem was, you didn’t want to forget about Luke.

Cal was taking you home, he was driving and you were beside him. You were talking about random things, when the night you didn’t remember came up.

"Did you find out who took you home?" He asked. It was obvious he knew.

"Cal, I know you guys know. I don’t know why you won’t say anything." You said.

He sighed. “Okay I do know.”

"Then who was it?" You asked, suddenly interested. You didn’t think he would actually tell you. He didn’t say anything for a while, the name so close to falling out of his lips. You waited patiently.

"Mikey."

"What?" You asked, not being able to piece together anything. Why wouldn’t they tell you that?

"Mikey did."

"Why didn’t you tell me?"

"He didn’t want me to. I don’t know why. Ask him. I don’t know." He said, becoming awkward with the conversation. For the rest of the journey, you spoke about something else.

When you arrived back and Cal had left, you were still wondering. It didn’t make sense. You were quite sure the boys were lying about who took you home, but you couldn’t be sure. You’d have to talk to Mikey. It just made no sense. The figure that you remembered, although blurry, did match Mikey. But even if it was him, why would they lie? Why wouldn’t they say anything? Something was wrong. They were keeping something from you and you knew it, suddenly becoming frustrated and angry. You wanted to know what it was.

You knew they were hiding something, and now you’d have to find out.